Why Haven't You Called Me Yet?
...You shut the door in my face again. In truth, I couldn't really blame you. It was my fault. It was always my fault. You are the sweetest guy in the world, and any girl would be lucky to have you. Even though I know this, my stubborn side refuses to be quelled.
...Knock, Knock, Knock.
I hesitated for a few seconds before knocking on your door again. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to calm myself down.
You slowly opened the door and gave me a sad, apologetic smile. I didn't deserve an apology.
"I'm sorry, Camilla... I just feel that you should trust me a little more," you said to me, holding back a few tears. Wrapping your arms around me and holding me tightly, you whispered in my ear, "I love you."
"...I love you too, Colin...I'm sorry," I hiccupped as tears rolled down my cheeks.
...And we made up; just like that. It happened regularly...I always accused you of being unfaithful.
You would always say, "I really do love you."
I wanted to believe you... But it was hard to do. It was silly that I could never truly accept that. What relief could I possibly find by not believing you? It only caused more heartache to not believe your words. Yet, a part of me refused to do so.
With a smile, you reached out your hand and gently caressed my face, wiping away a few tears with your thumb.
You kissed my forehead and promised, "I'll call you tonight."
Sitting patiently at my desk, I doodled a couple hearts and stars on a sheet of notebook paper. I glanced at the clock. It was 6:00 p.m. ...
"Why haven't you called me yet, Colin?" I wondered aloud.
Oh well... You would probably call later... At least, I hoped so.
An hour passed without so much as a text. Oh well, you would probably call later.
Another hour passed with out any notice from you. Oh well, you would probably call soon.
Yet another hour passed. Nothing. Oh well, you would probably call before too long.
Ring, Ring, Ring!!!
I had fallen asleep fully dressed on top of my bed, shoes and all. But at last, you had called me! Although I was woken from my sleep, I grinned excitedly, knowing that I could talk to you again.
I cleared my throat as I reached for my phone on the bedside table.
"Colin!" I cheered as soon as I had my phone in hand and flipped it open.
Hey, Cam! What's up? You still awake? ...That's what appeared on my screen. I felt tears sting my eyes when I realized it was not a call from my beloved, as I had anticipated. Frustrated, I threw the retched device against the wall to my right, letting out a cry of anger and disappointment.
...Sighing, I dragged myself over to where my phone had fallen and picked it up again, making sure I hadn't broken it during my miniature temper tantrum.
Biting my lip, I checked the time. 1:00 a.m.
"That late?! Stupid Colin...! I-I hate you!" I cried, clenching my fists and burying my face in my sheets.
Why hadn't you called me yet, Colin? I wanted to hear from you... Didn't you want to hear from me?
"You know that I've been waiting all this time just for your call... You idiot..." I whimpered, choking back sobs.
Most people probably would have encouraged me to call you by now...But again, my stubborn side refused to let me. I didn't want to appear desperate... and I wanted you to remember me... I was afraid you wouldn't remember me... I'm not worth it. I didn't deserve you. That was why I could not bring myself to make the call.
"If you don't have feelings for me anymore... You could've just told me..." I sniffled, hugging my pillow. "I wish you would tell me why you don't love me anymore, Colin... Maybe it's because I don't know how to calmly speak my mind? Or because I'm too restless and loud? Or maybe it's because I get so jealous... I'm always jealous... and too stubborn..."
I turned on the television in my room to try to distract myself from thinking about you. I watched, with red, puffy eyes, unable to pay the slightest bit of attention. Still, I thought about you. What was wrong with me?
I mumbled more possible reasons for you to dislike me...
"I don't act maturely enough. I'm not tall enough. Maybe my body isn't attractive enough? Maybe you don't like my hair color? ..."
I swore that I would change whatever it was you didn't like about me... I would change for you. I would do anything you wanted.
"Please... please just love me again..."
Suddenly, something on the television caught my attention. The news was on, and I swore I saw your jacket on screen. My eyes widened and I fumbled for the remote, turning up the volume.
"There has been a terrible accident on 152nd street," the anchorwoman was reporting.
That was the route you would take when you walked to my house.
"A teenage boy was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street. Both the boy's and the driver's identities have yet to be confirmed."
What had just happened? It couldn't possibly have been you, Colin...
I didn't know what to think... No, I wasn't able to think. I just grabbed my coat and sprinted out of my room, past my parents, and out the front door. There was no way it could be you. Someone else could have been wearing the same jacket and walking the same route.
I ran and ran, not pausing even once. I reached my destination in no time, but it was still not fast enough.
I could not even make sense of the various words people were shouting at me. They were probably all telling me to back away. I didn't try to listen. I shoved my way through the crowd.
Two bulky police officers grabbed me and pulled me back away from the scene. They sat me on the curb. I couldn't do anything about it. They tried to talk to me. I ignored them, staring off blankly into space.
It was indeed your body lying dead and cold in the street. The police officers finally confirmed it, and I didn't know what to do. It started to rain, and I couldn't tell whether the water running down my cheeks was rain or tears. It didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now. My life didn't matter now.
I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them, watching the rainwater disappear down the street's drain the same way our lives just disappear without any warning. One second you have it, but the next moment it could be taken away from you.
That was when I noticed a wet piece of paper being carried away by the rain. I felt as though I should pick it up. Unfolding it, I could barely make out, in familiar messy handwriting, this note:
You don't seem to understand how much I love you.
Perhaps you never will. But, all the same, I truly love you with all my heart.
You're the one for me, Cam. Never would I want anyone else.
I know we fight a lot, and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I couldn't call you like I promised.
I really can't find my phone anywhere. I wanted to visit you tonight instead, but your dad is there... and I know he doesn't like me. So I'll just leave this note in your mailbox...
I hope you understand, Cam. Please forgive me. I'll see you at school tomorrow.
All the love in the world,
- Current Mood: accomplished
Title: "Koi Suru Hitsuji wa Mirai no Yume wo Miruka"
Pairing: 5927, TYL!59/27, TYL!59TYL!27 (Gokudera x Tsuna, TYL!Gokudera x Tsuna, TYL!Gokudera x TYL!Tsuna)
Circle: Cotton Candy
Scanlated by: Kazeyumi
All credit to Cotton Candy, Mirusmayhem, tsuderascans, and Kazeyumi
NYANT'S REVIEW: It was cute... but it wasn't really "WOW!" or aww-out-loud... It was a decent read, it wasn't bad. Just not my favorite. It is worth the download though. I would not be posting it if it weren't.
I'd say 3.5 stars out of 5.
- Current Location:My bed lol. LAPTOPS FTW.
- Current Mood: lazy
- Current Music:"Gay Bar" [Hardcore Remix]- LyRiX vs Electric Six
- Current Location:Namimori~ 8D
- Current Mood: accomplished
- Current Music:"Clowns" - T.A.T.U